Doubting the Victory - Day 25

When I quit drugs over 13 years ago, an odd thing would happen to me from time to time. I would get these bouts of fear; "Did I do drugs recently and I just don't remember? Am I truly not free from drugs?" Weird right?! There were even times I had dreams about doing drugs and they were so real that I would wake up wondering if it happened.

Sometimes drug tests would come up at work. Even though I was clean for years, I would be scared I would come up positive. Even now 13 years later, there tends to be some doubt in the back of my mind for drug tests. "What is someone put something in my food and I didn't notice it? What if they make a mistake?"

Yesterday, I seemed to go through some of the same issues. I had a dream where I was in a store and they had TVs set up with porn showing on them. The scene is very vivid and weird. Once I saw what was on the TV in my dream, I looked away and made sure I didn't look back. I'm hoping this is a good sign. Maybe my subconscious is making the conscious decision to quit. This could also help to explain why it's easier this time around.

Also, there were a few moments where I doubted I had made progress. It was the same as with the drugs. I know I quit but there were these nagging thoughts; "Did I really quit? Am I sure I didn't fail and I just don't remember." It's amazing the tricks the mind plays when you are breaking an addiction.

If anyone has any idea what causes this, I would love to hear it.

After yesterday's post, I heard this song on the radio. It reminded me of what I read on Jane's Site

Home Alone - Day 24

Today is my first day totally alone at home. If I wanted to watch porn there would be no hiding or trying to sneak off to do it. It's readily available. I thought for sure today would be the hardest day. This morning on the way home after dropping the kids off for school there was a moment of mental fighting. However, it lasted briefly and by the time I came home it was over. Except for that brief moment, today has been pretty easy. 

Maybe the 21 days did make a huge difference. Of course, it’s all in my mind but in the end that's what counts anyways. It seems like the timing was perfect. Having people around me in the beginning helped me stay clear of temptation. Looking back over everything, I probably should have started at the beginning of the summer. With my wife, the teacher, and my kids at home, I may have had an easy 3 months. Then again, I am still under the impression we have to quit for our own reasons and I wasn't ready then. 

Jane from http://hisstrugglemystruggle.blogspot.com/ posted on my blog yesterday. (Thank you.) She's had a hard time dealing with her husband’s addiction. Although I don't think guys ever truly understand what women go through in this area, it must be rough. I'll probably never know how much it hurt my wife. Even today, I'm not sure why it affected her so. If you’re a wife going through this, check out Jane's blog. Maybe, you'll find some support or encouragement. 

In my opinion, in order for a husband to understand his wife's pain, there would have to be some really deep discussions between the husband and the wife. Unfortunately, this might not be possible. The walls are built and the wounds of mistrust are deep. The wife does not trust the husband due to the feeling of being cheated on and the husband does not trust the wife because he's scared too. For example, the day will come when I will bring up starting the first support group in our area for porn addiction. I know, even though this is a positive thing, this topic will probably bring back a whole lot of hurt and she may explode. Who knows?  So for now, even this blog is in secret to her. However, in the end, I still feel a husband and wife team working on this together is the best option. 

So, what if the husband doesn't want to or refuses to change? It depends on the person. If I would have been pushed, I probably just would have left. This is something a wife has to consider. Personally, if no new influence is coming into his life, there is a slim chance. 

21 Days Does Not Break an Addiction

Well, I’ve reached day 21 in my quest to be free from porn addiction. So, my first goal has been reached. I realize 21 days is not a magic bullet to end porn addiction. I only set it as my first real goal due to all the self improvement writings that tout “21 days to break a habit.”

I can give myself a little credit for making it this far but I know I’m far from being clear of porn addiction. It’s obvious I have a long way to go when I’m sitting in church and I catch myself looking at good looking women in mini-skirts. What the hell is a matter with them anyways? Are they just unaware of the problems they give people like me or do they know it and enjoy doing it anyways? Some women wear shirts that leave little to no imagination to what they have. What is this world coming too?

Moving on, my next goal is 30 days; one full month of freedom. I’m hoping the longer I go the easier it will be. Days 19 and 20 were a killer. Maybe, it’s due to the fact, I was so close to the goal. I wonder how long it will take before my mind stops trying to play porn reruns in my head. Funny thing is it’s always the same 4 or 5 movies. So, out of the 1000s it comes down to 4 or 5.

Last night, my wife was going to take my kids for a haircut. I was on the computer at the time writing my last post. I was afraid she was going to leave me at home alone. Why take chances? I ran downstairs and took them myself. I’m thinking I shouldn’t become overconfident in the issue and I should always be on the defensive.

Dumb Ideas to Stop Watching Porn - Day 20

I didn't post yesterday. Seemed like a good idea to stay away from the computer. I was already having a war inside my head. So, I didn't want to give the opposition any more ammunition. 

I came across http://www.lovepanky.com/ today. (Warning! if you follow the link, there are potential trigger pictures on the right side.) They list a whole bunch of ways to quit watching porn and avoid the addition. It seems to me this guy just wanted to write content and is really not trying to help anyone. Some of these ideas will actually help an addict become more addicted. Let's take a look at a few. 

"Try to finish yourself off as soon as possible." This would just lead to an unsatisfactory experience and the addict would be back in no time try to find "the new level."

"Watch so much that you get sick of it." Hello!? We are already at this level. Hence, the fact we are addicted and are trying to quit. 

"Restrict yourself to one porn site a week." Wow! It's time for a reality check. A true addicted loses all control after he lands on the first site. 

I wonder if anyone is buying any of this stuff. Seems like a good way to fool yourself. 

When it comes to quitting porn, it needs to be cold turkey. There is no controlling the addiction. When someone checks into a drug clinic, they don't start by giving him a huge fix on the first day and then gently decrease it day by day. No! They just stop them cold turkey. After they leave, they don't say, "Now, it's OK to have one fix a week but don't do any more." Sounds dumb, right? It’s the same here with porn addiction. 

Success Stories for overcoming Addiction - Day 18

I found this Youtube video about Court McGee at http://addictionandfamilies.org/. It's a good story about overcoming addiction. It re-emphasizes the concept of replacing our addiction with something else. Sitting around the house with nothing to do is a sure fire way to fail. Ever heard the saying, "An idol mind is the devil's workshop." We need to keep busy and take our mind off the common paths we think about. The longer we are free from our addiction the less power it has over us. Yes, it will always be there lurking in the recesses of our mind but it's not as strong as it is the day you try to stop.

I wanted to write on this video exclusively and put some thoughts behind it. However, as I was researching, I came across another video I thought readers might enjoy.

This second video is about Kirk Franklin. He is a successful Gospel singer and has sold over 10,000,000 records. He was addicted to porn since he was 8 years old. He was addicted even while his records were flying of the shelves. The most important part of this interview to me was how much support his wife gave him. In addition, she had a perfect attitude towards her husbands addiction. I wrote about the power of a wife's help in previous posts. This is a perfect example.

How a Wife Can Help Her Husband Quit Porn - Day 17

Today, I'm going to give a tip on how a wife can help her husband quit porn. First and foremost, don't be judgmental or accusatory. An addict wants help not blame. Hammering his low self-esteem with hate, disgust,  and / or  non-understating does little to help the addict. Instead it builds a wall of distrust, fear and anger. Between the wall the wife has built and the wall the husband has built, it is doubtful the two will find common ground to start on. 

The wife would have far more success in encouraging her husband to quit and offering support. An addict is going to distrust just about everyone in a Christian setting. His current friends aren't going to help and many may even become counterproductive. This leaves you, the wife, as his only true hope. 

Someone coming out of addiction needs someone to be accountable too. It's best that it's his wife. She's the one stuck in the mess with him either way. There needs to be honest communication between the addicted and the person they are accountable too. There will be no trust and honest communication if the addict says, "I failed today," only to be met with an attack. This doesn't mean the wife has to accept the behavior but she should understand this will be a process. 

The addict should still attend support groups. If there is a breakdown at the support group, the addict can fall back to his wife for support and does not have to fall back to his addiction. 

Marriage vows are becoming a joke in these current times. I even heard Mexico is thinking of passing temporary marriages into law. We have this in the United States already. They are in the form of Hollywood Marriages and just plain living together. Couples are not willing to go through the hard times anymore. Vows are treated as "in the good times and the bad" unless this includes porn addiction or the fact I just get tired of you. 

A wife who can take the hard journey to porn recovery with her husband will be rewarded with a better marriage and husband. How many times have we seen trying times bring couples closer together? This moment in time, when you are dealing with porn addiction, can be the straw that breaks the camel's back or the glue that binds a couple together? 

Will you have what it takes to be the wife your husband needs you to be?

Facebook is a Mine Field - Day 16.

This morning I opened Facebook to check for any messages. BAM! Someone had posted a picture with some kind of nude women on it. I'm not sure if they were drawn, animated, or photographed. I didn't stick around to find out. I blocked this person from posting any further things to my wall.

The thing about Facebook is there is little control over what goes in your eyes. More often than not there are suggestive pictures on the right hand side in the form of ads. Are those pictures bad? No. However, there is nothing wrong with having beer in the frig unless your an alcoholic. Why take the risk? It only takes a wrong thought at the wrong time to be in the fight of your life. FYI, there is porn on Facebook also. Usually, you have to go look for it. Yet, sometimes it just shows up.

I took my family to the beach two days ago. During the drive my wife told me she had a co-worker find me on Facebook. She said there was a picture of a girl on my page and I had liked it. She had mentioned it was awkward for her and her friend. I couldn't remember this at all.

Eventually, I realized it was tied to an interview I was going to do. I promote all my writing through Facebook; except this blog. I was going to interview a fitness model for a website; Again, overall,  probably not a big deal. However, to a wife whose husband is fighting porn addiction, it just brings up all kinds of questions again. I'm looking forward to the day when my wife won't have to worry about if I'm looking at porn.

It's recommend to stop using Facebook if possible. It's just one less obstacle to have to deal with.

What to Do When You Fail - Day 15

I looked my stats today and I say the search term "overcoming porn the day you fail." I can imagine the person who typed this into Google was feeling pretty low. I've been there many times before. It can be pretty devastating. Most of the time, it conjures thoughts like, "Why do I even try?"

It's like everything else in life. The difficult things rarely get accomplished on the first try. Even when it came to walking, we had to make many attempts and we fell down many times. Very few children ever just go from crawling to running in one try. It's part of life. It takes time to reprogram your brain.

The problem with most adults is they give up to easily. What if the first time we tried to walk was our last time? We stand up. We go to walk and we fall down. Then we decide; that's it, we aren't every going to try walking again. Sounds silly doesn't it? Of course, you are going to try again. It is the same with quitting porn. When you get up, start all over again.

What if you are only free like me for two weeks? I feel better and have a better outlook on life. Isn't two weeks better than no weeks? If I fail, shouldn't I try for 3 weeks next time? Failure is certain in life but it doesn't have to be permanent.

I have faith that, if we keep trying, one time we will make a decision that will stick. This next time can be this time for you. This time is the time for me.

People Do Not Understand Porn Addiction - Day 14

I went to church with my wife this morning and the topic was Promiscuity, Pornography, and Adultery. I swear you could have heard a pin drop in church this morning. As the pastor was pointing out, these sins are running rampart in the churches these days. Our pastor has had the guts to teach on many polarizing views lately. These are the ones everyone should talk about but no one does.

As soon as the service started, I felt my wife tense up. I know here first thought was about my addiction. Thanks to the progress I have been making and my clear desire to been done with porn, I was totally relaxed through the whole message. I think she could feel it in me. By the time the service was over she seemed to be in a good mood. The message probably also explained why I have been a lot more self-controlled and peaceful lately.

The message made me want to move up the time table of starting a local support group for people addicted to porn. However, I don't know what would be too soon. I would hate for people to not take it or me seriously because I was only free for a few months. I would hope people coming would realize we are all just trying to take it one step at a time.

I'll be honest with you. I don't want to share my addiction troubles with anyone who does not have the same addiction. I don't believe other people understand. I've told too many people in the past who were supposed to be there for support and only received distance instead. It was like, "Wow, you are awesome. Oh wait, you're addicted to porn? Get away from me." At first, I didn't want to believe it but the more it happened I couldn't deny it. Therefore, I gave up trying to get help in the past.

So, it's important I form this group of people who know what each other is going thru and wants to help each other.

Takes a Long Time to Gain Trust Back - Day 13

It takes a long time to gain trust back. In my 14 year marriage, my wife has found porn on my computer 3 times; 2 pictures and 1 video. Each time she went ballistic. As I mentioned before, women tend to take this type of thing personally.

Today, I mentioned I wanted to volunteer for a project at work. She kept thinking I was hiding something. When I asked her what she thought I was hiding, she used the word porn in the example. I wasn't very happy about it. Maybe she thinks I've been watching porn recently. I don't tell her about this blog because I already know she would disagree. However, this blog is helping me make real progress. It's very important to have someone to be honest with and confide in. I tried with her because I trust her. It was very bad. It was obvious she was hurt and disapproving. Having someone disapprove of you does not help with recovery. 

I'm sure once 6 months go by and I tell her all is good she'll be happy. So, in a nutshell it's been about 6 months since the last time she caught me and I can tell it's still in the back of her mind. 

On a side note, my attitude in life is doing very well. I feel much happier about things and the small stuff doesn't get to me as much. I've also noticed I have dramatically cut down on the amount I look at other women. I never wanted to cheat or anything but I was always comparing everyone. 

I should set up a small reward for myself when I reach 21 days. It's always a good idea to reward yourself when you accomplish goals. Maybe, I'll treat myself to a movie with popcorn and soda. That would be nice. 

Be on Guard at All Times - Day 12

When overcoming porn addiction, it's important to be on guard at all times. You never know when you'll be confronted with temptation. For example, this just happened to me and it leads to today's post. 

I would like this blog to develop into a resource for other people to use in their fight against porn addiction. In addition, I hope it becomes a successful blog. Therefore, I need to monitor where my traffic is coming from. I need to do whatever works and do more of it. I need to participate in awesome sites like http://treatmenttalk.org/. They provide valuable input, support and provide some links for me. The webmaster is very proactive and even answers everyone's post. It can be hard to find this level of personal touch on the web now-a-days. 

Anyways, one of the referring sites listed on my site traffic had a very innocent looking name to it. I clicked on it to see if I could participate with the site. The first thing I saw across the browser header was something like "free porn videos" or some such. I immediately closed the page before I could see what was on it. That was close. Needless to say, I’m not checking any links unless I start the interaction myself.

I’m hoping that some of these sites are referring people to me because they realize they need to stop watching porn and are seeking help. Hopefully, I’ll say something that makes a difference.

There could be other times that are totally beyond a person's control. For example, a co-worker may show you a dirty picture at work on their cell phone. Whatever the situation or reason, it's important that when we come across these things we immediately turn away and start thinking of some other positive though process. 

Video of This Day

How to Tell if Your Husband is Watching Porn - Day 11

Do you think your husband is watching porn but you’re not sure? The first question you might want to ask yourself is do you really want to know? For many women, it can be a devastating revelation. Men don't see it this way but often men do.

Just like any other addiction, it causes a flaw in thinking and the most careful person is bound to make a mistake. So, you need to check your home computer. Check the history on all browsers: Internet Explorer, Firefox, Chrome, or any other one you see. Is the history always clean? Why? Most people don't clean their history on a daily basis. Check the download folder on the C: Drive. There are a few companies online that will scan a computer for bad graphics and video. http://www.contentpurity.com/scaninfo.htm is one of them.  However, if you’re not going to buy the program, be careful. The scan results may return stuff that isn't porn. No need to attack an innocent person. 

**added on 9/18** If you husband has Google account, check the web history from Google. This may be turned on and it's possible he doesn't even know it's there. While in the Google account, click on the upside down arrow next to his icon. Click on "account." Look under services and "go to web history."

Check out your husband reaction while you’re near the computer. Does he hover around the computer when you’re around? This could be a good sign that he's worried on what you might find. When you come home and he's been by himself, does he appear to get angry with you easily? That's what would happen when I was watching it. 

Do you never look at his phone? Chances are he's gotten careless with it and has incriminating evidence on it. You should check it one day when he's not around. Is all the history cleaned? Why? How cleans their browser history all the time on an Iphone? Chances are he's trying to hide something. You could always buy something like http://www.spy-mobile-phone.com/purchase-mobile-spy.html. You'll no for sure then. 

If you do find something and you think your husband is addicted, be careful how you approach him about it. Take the wrong approach can end a marriage. 

Song of This Day.

Addiction of Escalation - Day 10

Day 9 was a little tough and today on day 10 seems to be even tougher. As I figured, my days off have been the worst. Tomorrow is another day at work and I'll be busy most of the day. So, I expect tomorrow to be easier again.

When I was watching porn, it used to take huge chunks of time out of my life. Normally, a porn session would last a few hours. The reason it would always take so long is because I was always trying to find something better than the last time. It was just like a drug addicted always wanting a better high.

If the scene was not graphic enough, it was "lame." If the director didn't put the girls in the right positions, then it wasn't "quality work." It would take time to top all the thousands of movies I had seen before.

After time, you start getting into different types of setting or actions. One of the things that would scare me is I heard many an expert say porn addiction would eventually lead to interest in children. Thank God, I never ran into this problem. Maybe it's because I'm really not a kid person in the first place. I like my 3 kids but I don't want to babysit another person's kids. It used to bother me to go to a party and see some grown man playing with a bunch of small kids. People would always say, "He's so great with kids." I would always think the guy was some kind of pervert and he better not go near my kids.

My path went down a different trail. I wanted to see women used in more public places. I invented my own favorite saying; "If the tits aren't out it doesn't count." If it wasn't public sex, it was BDSM. It was even better if it was both. Of course, it was always the ones where the woman acted like they wanted to be there. I'm not into hurting anyone or anything. Which, on a side note, I never understood guys who want to rape women. How is it exciting to be with someone who doesn't want you or is screaming, yelling, and fighting the whole time? It's just weird.

Let's get back to topic. The point is the Internet porn is widely available and there is more than any one person can watch. So, the fact I was spending so much time on porn was actually watching it not looking for it. I also knew the longer I went the better it would be when I found something good. I wouldn't look at the fact I was digging myself deeper every time I set down for a session. The combination of always looking for a better scene and the promise of a better experience always caused me to want more and more.

So, if you think you have it under control, it will only be a matter of time before you are under control.

Overcoming Porn Addiction - Day 8

I'm on day 8 of overcoming porn addiction. It's amazing how great I feel. Some of the depression that has been haunting me over the last few years is slipping away. If I could feel like this every day, life would be worth living again.

I'm worried about the school year starting. With my wife going back to work, I will have more opportunities to be by myself. This is dangerous territory. So, it's important that I make as many gains as I can until then. The next milestone I have set for myself is day 22. I set this goal because of the saying, "21 days to make a habit and 21 days to break a habit." I understand this does not classify as a habit but it's a start in the right direction.

At 6 months, I plan on starting a Porn Addicts Anonymous group here in my area. There is currently no such organiztion in my area. I would be great to give and receive support from local people. I find it hard to believe there are no other people wanting to participate in overcoming porn addiction in the area.

I've known for a long time that I wanted 3 things: To be a leader, help others, and do something that matters.  This meeting group would allow me to accomplish all 3 things.

Video of This Day.

Fight Porn Addiction - Day 7

You cannot just quit porn addiction. You have to fight porn addiction. If a person tries to quit porn once and beats it, I would question if they were ever truly addicted in the first place.

Take for example the time I quit smoking cigarettes. 4 of us took a new year's resolution to quit smoking. I was the only one who succeeded. For me it was easy. I wasn't addicted to them. I was more of a light smoker compared to everyone else.

No matter what type of addiction a person has it can be extremely tough to escape from it. It's a constant fight. Even after years of being free, one must continuously be on guard against it least they fall back into the addiction.

On day 5, I wrote about how one picture on the Internet can plunge someone back into the depth of pornography. Knowing this, I still had to fight it on the very same day. I was looking around different addiction blogs to study up on my topic of being free from porn addiction. I came across a blog called, "Confessions of a Porn Addict." I didn't realize until I looked at it that it was about a movie review. There was a picture on the page of a porn shot with the microphone guy included. There was nothing nude in the picture but the suggestion was there. I had to fight to not let my mind start to wonder. If I had not been on guard, this blog would have been over on day 5.

So, if you are going to fight porn addiction like I am, realize it is going to be a fight.

Another thing I would like to caution about is: just like a real fight, over confidence can be a week point and cause you to lose. Be careful. Don't take any chances. Realize the enemy is not going to play fair. Realize the odds are against you but you can beat the odds.

How has your fight been? Are you just getting started? Is it easy or is it hard? What has been the biggest temptations? What causes you to fail or win?

Song of This Day

Day 5: Internet Addiction - Free From Porn Addiction - Internet Addiction

Internet Addiction and Porn Addiction are a dangerous combination. If someone is addicted to porn and has Internet addiction, they are playing with fire. It's way too easy to stray off the path. All it can take is one ad to trigger a downward spiral. If the addict is not on guard, the fight can be over before it truly begins. The moment a suggestive picture is seen the addict must look away. If he fools himself to believing he can look for a little while and then change the page, he is mistaken. 

This is what happens to so many addicts. They don't understand the depth of their mental programming. Once the mind starts to follow a deeply ingrained path, it's hard to alter course. The further down the path the harder it becomes to stop until it's too late. It reminds me of a sign on a country road; "Chose your ruts carefully. You'll be in them for the next 10 miles."

Take a look at people on their smart phones. Internet addiction has been funneling into Facebook addiction. I see a large majority of people not able to get of Facebook for more than a few hours. Someone who is not careful can actually run into full out porn on Facebook. At the very least they see the suggestive pictures on the side ads as previously mentioned. 

So, if you are an addict and you have to be on the Internet, be sure you realize that you are skating on thin ice. One wrong step and you might be in over your head. 

Song of This Day

Day 4: Free From Porn Addiction - Martial Relationships

Day 4 and all is well. I've heard a few preachers speak about porn addiction. As you can imagine, they didn’t agree with it much. Of course, they would mention the negative effects on Martial Relations. 

Some would mention how their spouse could never live up to the mental images developed in the addicts mind. Porn is full of women who have great bodies and faces. They mention how this made the addict feel their spouses were less attractive. Well, I never lost the fact that my wife is beautiful. I do notice her imperfections but I find it hard to believe this isn't the case with most people, even if, they aren't addicted. 

I personally noticed another negative effect on martial relations. I don't remember reading it anywhere but through personal experience I can't deny it. When I've been at home and spent time watching porn, it would never fail that I would argue with my wife when she arrived home. I don't understand all the psychology about it. I just know it would happen. Even when I figured this out, I would still fail to stay calm. Once I forgot about being careful it would slip. 

When I had lost my job a few years ago, I had stopped watching porn for a while. My family said there was a big change in my attitude. They stated I was more relaxed in life. We all attributed it to me no longer working a job I hated. Now, I'm not so sure. I guess we'll find out soon. I have another job just like the old one. So, that hasn't changed. 

Song for This Day

Day 3: Free From Porn Addiction - Darkness Can Not Hide in the Light

Day 3 is most of the way finished. I'm just logging in to post. I have to be careful, because along with porn addiction, I'm sure I have a case of Internet addiction also. I've always been a little against the grain in this matter. If I watched TV as much as I was online, people would just say I was average. However, now-a-days it seems like people just like to point out whatever they are not doing and call it an addiction.

Anyways, this has been my first day off of work since I started this. These are the most dangerous days. Usually, on Wednesday, I have the day off and tend to be at home alone. Since, it's summertime the family is at home. This helps to keep me honest. There was still a small temptation to run off and hide during the day to get my fix but it was manageable.

The more time you spend with people, who don’t support porn addiction, the better of you will be. Porn, for the most part, is a secretive activity. The less chance you have to hide it, the less chance you have to act on it. This is a good reason to not have locks on your doors at home. If you know someone might come busting in at any moment, it causes you to hesitate. 

Day 2 - The Chains That Bind

"Any act often repeated soon forms a habit; and habit allowed, steady gains in strength, At first it may be but as a spider's web, easily broken through, but if not resisted it soon binds us with chains of steel." - Tryon Edwards

When I was 14, I found a stack of adult magazines in my father's bedroom closet. I found the magazines quite fascinating. This was my introduction to porn and the long road towards porn addiction. If I would have known those magazine would have enslaved me, I wouldn't have touched them. Then again, what does a 14 year old know if he hasn't been told? Then in the mid 80's my family bought one of those huge satellite dishes to get free cable. Unfortunately, there was free porn available also. I used to get home an hour and a half before my parents did. So, I was able to watch these shows without challenge. 

Later, when I joined the military, I found pornography widely accepted. There were times at work where we would watch them while working. I eventually found my way to a video store and took out a membership card.  I ended up recording quite a collection for myself. By the time I was fully online in 1999, I was so far in over my head I didn't know what to do. 

After 28 years of continued input into my brain, the chains of steel have become quite strong indeed. Being free from porn addiction can be very hard indeed. At the moment, I'm looking forward to another successful day. I should be extremely busy today. This always seems to help. 

Song of this Day

Making a Journal - Day 1

Like most  people who have been addicted to porn or anything else for that matter, I'm starting over again. I can't count the amount of times I have tried to stop. Some times it last a day. Some times it last a few months. On the long stretches it seems like the pressures of life cause me to fall. More on why this is on future post. 

One common strategy to beating pornography addiction is to keep a journal. I have never done this in the past, but like a dieter who writes down everything they eat, I can see how this will help. Why do I think journals help? It helps to keep your eye on the prize. Also, it helps you to be honest with yourself.  In addition, since my goal is to be a successful Internet writer, here I am starting a blog about this time around. 

I've grown a lot in the last few months towards other things I've struggled with. I believe this time I will be successful. 

Another strategy is to have people support you along the way. I'm hoping through this journey and this blog I will find others who will join me online the way.  

Video of this Day