tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54398332541068336642024-03-12T20:25:52.815-07:00Free From Porn AdditionA journal and a guide to being free from porn addiction.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16899652685430310436noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439833254106833664.post-64073346077048479312012-09-18T06:59:00.000-07:002012-09-18T06:59:30.697-07:00How Porn Addicts Watch Porn - Day 44<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I assume most people without an addiction to Porn sit down
with a partner and watch a movie. Maybe somewhere along the way they stop
watching the movie and focus on each other. After the movie is over, they may
not watch another one for weeks or months later. There may be no desire to go
back and watch more because it was just something to do at the moment; a
special occasion kind of thing. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can only speak for myself but it’s different from this addict’s
point of view. On times before, when I was attempting to quit porn, having sex
with my wife would cause a greater desire to watch porn the next day. Thinking
about the act of sex would want me to watch more sex. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, there I would sit at my computer watching porn. Again,
someone else may sit down and watch a movie or scene and then would be done
with it. For me it would be different. First, I would go to Google and do a
video search with some keywords like “Interracial Anal” “Public Anal Sex” or “Monster
Cock Teen Anal.” This brings back 100s of results for each one. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Tangent - As I mentioned before, I’m not in to kids. Teen searches
bring back results of woman that are 18 to 24 years old. I assume this is due
to Federal law and any large porn site coming up on Google is going to be
legit. This filters out looking at old has-been porn stars which lack much to
be desired. When you do these searches
you’ll notice a message at the bottom saying some sites have been removed in
accordance with U.S. law. A woman who looks innocent has more impact than
someone who looks like they are bored with the whole thing. Actresses who act
like it’s their first time do very well. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Why all the anal? I’m not totally sure. I just knew it
turned me on more. I think it has more to do with the woman being totally unreserved
in their actions. Maybe it’s part of my <a href="http://free-from-porn-addiction.blogspot.com/2012/09/what-is-paraphilia-according-to.html" target="_blank">Paraphilia</a>.
There’s a process here when it comes to extremes. Let me explain by example. All women have a
choice on whether they will give blow jobs. I assume most will and some will
not. I figure only about half who do give blow jobs will swallow. Out of that
percentage, fewer still will like it. Right or wrong, I feel a woman who gives
blow jobs is more exciting than one who doesn’t. A woman who swallows is more
exciting than one who won’t. A woman who
loves to swallow is more exciting than a woman who just does it because it
makes the guy happy. So, the same goes with sex. Regular sex is good. Anal sex
is better and a woman who loves anal sex is even better.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
By the way, I did read in a psychology study once that woman
who won’t swallow send a signal of rejection to their man. It may not be
intentional but you are still rejecting a part of him. You can say it’s not
true all you want but I believe the study was 100% correct. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
By the way guys, if you are not bringing your woman to
orgasm with your mouth, you are probably missing the boat. According to <a href="http://www.sogc.org/health/health-myths_e.asp" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.sogc.org/</a>,
two-thirds of women don’t reach orgasm during normal intercourse. If you are
not willing to eat at the Y, then hopefully she masturbates while you do your
thing; which by the way is hot as hell. But seriously, do you want her to have
to continue to do the work for both of you at the same time? I wish I could go
back and apologize to the first few girlfriends I had. What a shame.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Back on topic – After having all these search results, I
would go through and “control +click” on all the ones that looked promising.
This opens them in new tabs on my browser. This way I don’t lose track of where
I am on the search results. I would normally open about 20 at a time. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At this point, I would start scanning through the scenes
looking for things I like the most. After 1000s of hours, going through porn
sites, you can scan through a scene very fast to determine if it has what you
like or not. The ones I didn’t like or didn’t “qualify” as good enough were
closed in disgust. After an hour or two of this, I’ve been through dozens of
scenes and narrowed it down to a few good ones. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Once I’m down to the final few, I would pick the one I like
the best to get me off. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have a feeling this is a good indication of what other
addicts go through. So, if there is anyone out there who has caught their
spouse with one picture or file on their computer, you should probably realize
the problem can be much more serious than you think. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16899652685430310436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439833254106833664.post-46423047624226423902012-09-03T20:08:00.001-07:002012-09-03T20:09:16.568-07:00What is Paraphilia - Day 29<div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What is Paraphilia? According to Wikipedia, “Paraphilia <span style="background-color: white;">is </span>sexual
arousal<span style="background-color: white;"> to objects, situations, or individuals that
are not part of </span>normative<span style="background-color: white;"> stimulation and that may cause distress or serious
problems for the paraphiliac or those associated with them." </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In my opinion, porn increases the
likelihood of a person developing Paraphilia. As a person starts to live a
lifestyle of constant porn it takes more and more for the person to reach the
same highs. In order to do this, the addict often has to resort to more extreme
scenes than the ones he previously enjoyed. Many common themes with paraphilia
are: women using increasingly larger objects to penetrate themselves, increased
degrees of BDSM, a desire to see woman used in more humiliating ways than
before, and searching out younger and younger actresses.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Each one of these comes with
problems. First off, the addict expects their partners to act out the scenes he
sees in porn. This is an unnatural expectation of someone within the normal
social moral code. When the expectations are not met, this can lead to
resentment from the addict due to not having their expectations met. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In some cases, the extremes reach
their own boundaries. For example, my version of Paraphilia went into two
directions; one of which was public sex. There are only so few women that are
willing to have all out sex in public and have it on tape. (Yes, I understand there
are thousands of public sex scenes but if it wasn't a certain way then it
didn't qualify to me.) Therefore it would become increasingly harder to find
the next best scene. This would lead to more porn watching in order to find
it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Worse yet, some of these
categories can lead to illegal activities and crimes against our moral codes as
a society. For example, many long term porn addicts will turn to either gay or
child alternatives. I thank God I never went in these directions; not that my
issues were any better. However, this is a natural progression for some porn
addicts. A person may start down the road of porn addiction only looking for
standard sex between a man and a woman. However, over years of exposure the
lines of what is right and wrong are blurred. The addict will tell himself
there is nothing wrong with just watching as long as he is not doing. The sad
part is quite often this will lead to doing if the opportunity presents
itself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As far as serious problems
arising, Jail and ruined relationships are at the top of the list. In addition,
some of these extremes can cause serious injuries. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, when you mate asks you to do
something that seems weird or beyond the norm, shouldn't you be asking yourself
where they got the ideas from? As a friend once told me after I told him how
good my new girlfriend was at sex, "How do you think she got that
way?" Ouch. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div>
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<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><br /></span></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16899652685430310436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439833254106833664.post-15759620432008919172012-09-02T14:38:00.001-07:002012-09-02T14:40:09.892-07:00Wives Are Letting Porn Happen - Day 28I'm sure wives would say they don't let their husbands watch porn. I would disagree. I'm specifically talking about wives who have caught their husbands watching porn and want them to stop. Their lack of action causes them to let the porn watching continue to happen.<br />
<br />
If you have asked your husband to stop and he said he wanted too but didn't, then he probably has an addiction. I'm sure you want to give him the benefit of the doubt. However, addictions aren't conquered that easily. You basically need to catch him again. I promise this is not difficult. It's just like lying. It is hard to do it for long periods of time without slipping up. Read Day 11 for ideas on how to check. The only reason my wife did not catch me more than 3 times in 12 years is because she didn't want to believe it was happening. I believe this is the exact same reason parents can't tell their kids are on drugs.<br />
<br />
After the second time, you face him with the truth about his addiction, the ball is in your court. It's important to act at this point. I suggest the following actions.<br />
<br />
Demand all access to the Internet be cut. People can live without the Internet. Most companies will keep him away from porn sites at work due to the fear of being fired. He doesn't need a smart phone. Give him one with no Internet. Again, you have to do this immediately upon catching him. If you wait, he'll try to tell you this is unacceptable because he already quit the last time.<br />
<br />
Don't leave him alone whenever possible. If you have kids, always make sure one is with him. If you have an alarm system at home, you can use it to your advantage. If you are working and he has time to himself, ask him what he does with him time. If he leaves the house, where does he go and why?<br />
<br />
If you know he has friends who are bad influences, demand ties be cut. Does he want to save his marriage or does he want to save his friendships. If he is choosing his friends over you, there are some big problems in your relationship beyond porn.<br />
<br />
Get him an accountability partner. I believe you are the best one. If you can't handle it, then find another. Remember, a good accountability partner has to be accountable to asking him if he's been accountable.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16899652685430310436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439833254106833664.post-12749209802624270742012-08-30T19:02:00.000-07:002012-08-30T19:07:45.242-07:00Doubting the Victory - Day 25When I quit drugs over 13 years ago, an odd thing would happen to me from time to time. I would get these bouts of fear; "Did I do drugs recently and I just don't remember? Am I truly not free from drugs?" Weird right?! There were even times I had dreams about doing drugs and they were so real that I would wake up wondering if it happened.<br />
<br />
Sometimes drug tests would come up at work. Even though I was clean for years, I would be scared I would come up positive. Even now 13 years later, there tends to be some doubt in the back of my mind for drug tests. "What is someone put something in my food and I didn't notice it? What if they make a mistake?"<br />
<br />
Yesterday, I seemed to go through some of the same issues. I had a dream where I was in a store and they had TVs set up with porn showing on them. The scene is very vivid and weird. Once I saw what was on the TV in my dream, I looked away and made sure I didn't look back. I'm hoping this is a good sign. Maybe my subconscious is making the conscious decision to quit. This could also help to explain why it's easier this time around.<br />
<br />
Also, there were a few moments where I doubted I had made progress. It was the same as with the drugs. I know I quit but there were these nagging thoughts; "Did I really quit? Am I sure I didn't fail and I just don't remember." It's amazing the tricks the mind plays when you are breaking an addiction.<br />
<br />
If anyone has any idea what causes this, I would love to hear it.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
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After yesterday's post, I heard this song on the radio. It reminded me of what I read on Jane's SiteAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16899652685430310436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439833254106833664.post-70953857215238871322012-08-29T12:38:00.000-07:002012-08-29T12:49:27.656-07:00Home Alone - Day 24<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Today is my first day totally alone at home. If I wanted to watch
porn there would be no hiding or trying to sneak off to do it. It's readily
available. I thought for sure today would be the hardest day. This morning on
the way home after dropping the kids off for school there was a moment of
mental fighting. However, it lasted briefly and by the time I came home it was
over. Except for that brief moment, today has been pretty easy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Maybe the 21 days
did make a huge difference. Of course, it’s all in my mind but in the end
that's what counts anyways. It seems like the timing was perfect. Having people
around me in the beginning helped me stay clear of temptation. Looking back
over everything, I probably should have started at the beginning of the summer.
With my wife, the teacher, and my kids at home, I may have had an easy 3
months. Then again, I am still under the impression we have to quit for our own
reasons and I wasn't ready then. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Jane from <a href="http://hisstrugglemystruggle.blogspot.com/" style="background-color: white;" target="_blank">http://<span style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; text-decoration: none;">hisstrugglemystruggle</span>.<span style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; text-decoration: none;">blogspot</span>.com/</a> posted on my
blog yesterday. (Thank you.) She's had a hard time dealing with her husband’s
addiction. Although I don't think guys ever truly understand what women go
through in this area, it must be rough. I'll probably never know how much it
hurt my wife. Even today, I'm not sure why it affected her so. If you’re a wife
going through this, check out Jane's blog. Maybe, you'll find some support or
encouragement. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">In my opinion, in
order for a husband to understand his wife's pain, there would have to be some
really deep discussions between the husband and the wife. Unfortunately, this
might not be possible. The walls are built and the wounds of mistrust are deep.
The wife does not trust the husband due to the feeling of being cheated on and
the husband does not trust the wife because he's scared too. For example,
the day will come when I will bring up starting the first support group in our
area for porn addiction. I know, even though this is a positive thing, this
topic will probably bring back a whole lot of hurt and she may explode. Who knows?
So for now, even this blog is in secret to her. However, in the end,
I still feel a husband and wife team working on this together is the best
option. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">So, what if the
husband doesn't want to or refuses to change? It depends on the person. If I
would have been pushed, I probably just would have left. This is something a
wife has to consider. Personally, if no new influence is coming into his life,
there is a slim chance. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16899652685430310436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439833254106833664.post-48828865116157447062012-08-26T14:33:00.000-07:002012-08-26T14:33:20.300-07:0021 Days Does Not Break an Addiction<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well, I’ve reached day 21 in my quest to be free from porn
addiction. So, my first goal has been reached. I realize 21 days is not a magic
bullet to end porn addiction. I only set it as my first real goal due to all
the self improvement writings that tout “21 days to break a habit.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can give myself a little credit for making it this far but
I know I’m far from being clear of porn addiction. It’s obvious I have a long
way to go when I’m sitting in church and I catch myself looking at good looking
women in mini-skirts. What the hell is a matter with them anyways? Are they
just unaware of the problems they give people like me or do they know it and
enjoy doing it anyways? Some women wear shirts that leave little to no
imagination to what they have. What is this world coming too?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Moving on, my next goal is 30 days; one full month of
freedom. I’m hoping the longer I go the easier it will be. Days 19 and 20 were
a killer. Maybe, it’s due to the fact, I was so close to the goal. I wonder how
long it will take before my mind stops trying to play porn reruns in my head.
Funny thing is it’s always the same 4 or 5 movies. So, out of the 1000s it
comes down to 4 or 5. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Last night, my wife was going to take my kids for a haircut.
I was on the computer at the time writing my last post. I was afraid she was
going to leave me at home alone. Why take chances? I ran downstairs and took
them myself. I’m thinking I shouldn’t become overconfident in the issue and I
should always be on the defensive.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16899652685430310436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439833254106833664.post-66085872137765143282012-08-25T16:22:00.001-07:002012-08-25T16:22:52.690-07:00Dumb Ideas to Stop Watching Porn - Day 20<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">I didn't post yesterday. Seemed like a good idea to stay away from
the computer. I was already having a war inside my head. So, I didn't want to
give the opposition any more ammunition. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">I came across <a href="http://www.lovepanky.com/sensual-tease/obsession/how-to-stop-watching-porn-addiction" target="_blank">http://www.lovepanky.com/</a> today. (Warning! if you
follow the link, there are potential trigger pictures on the right side.) They list a
whole bunch of ways to quit watching porn and avoid the addition. It seems to
me this guy just wanted to write content and is really not trying to help
anyone. Some of these ideas will actually help an addict become more addicted.
Let's take a look at a few. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">"Try to finish
yourself off as soon as possible." This would just lead to an unsatisfactory
experience and the addict would be back in no time try to find "the new
level."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">"Watch so much that
you get sick of it." Hello!? We are already at this level. Hence, the fact we
are addicted and are trying to quit. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">"Restrict yourself
to one porn site a week." Wow! It's time for a reality check. A true addicted
loses all control after he lands on the first site. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">I wonder if anyone
is buying any of this stuff. Seems like a good way to fool yourself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">When it comes to
quitting porn, it needs to be cold turkey. There is no controlling the
addiction. When someone checks into a drug clinic, they don't start by giving
him a huge fix on the first day and then gently decrease it day by day. No!
They just stop them cold turkey. After they leave, they don't say, "Now,
it's OK to have one fix a week but don't do any more." Sounds dumb, right?
It’s the same here with porn addiction. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16899652685430310436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439833254106833664.post-24781272886934121942012-08-23T07:41:00.002-07:002012-08-23T07:41:50.449-07:00Success Stories for overcoming Addiction - Day 18<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I found this Youtube video about Court McGee at <a href="http://addictionandfamilies.org/" target="_blank">http://addictionandfamilies.org/</a>. It's a good story about overcoming addiction. It re-emphasizes the concept of replacing our addiction with something else. Sitting around the house with nothing to do is a sure fire way to fail. Ever heard the saying, "An idol mind is the devil's workshop." We need to keep busy and take our mind off the common paths we think about. The longer we are free from our addiction the less power it has over us. Yes, it will always be there lurking in the recesses of our mind but it's not as strong as it is the day you try to stop.<br />
<br />
I wanted to write on this video exclusively and put some thoughts behind it. However, as I was researching, I came across another video I thought readers might enjoy.<br />
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This second video is about Kirk Franklin. He is a successful Gospel singer and has sold over 10,000,000 records. He was addicted to porn since he was 8 years old. He was addicted even while his records were flying of the shelves. The most important part of this interview to me was how much support his wife gave him. In addition, she had a perfect attitude towards her husbands addiction. I wrote about the power of a wife's help in previous posts. This is a perfect example.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16899652685430310436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439833254106833664.post-48662961899416801132012-08-22T10:28:00.001-07:002012-08-22T10:28:23.810-07:00How a Wife Can Help Her Husband Quit Porn - Day 17Today, I'm going to give a tip on how a wife can help her husband quit porn. First and foremost, don't be judgmental or accusatory. An addict wants help not blame. Hammering his low self-esteem with hate, disgust,
and / or non-understating does little to help the addict. Instead it builds a wall of distrust, fear and anger. Between the wall the wife has built and the wall the husband has built, it is doubtful the two will find common ground to start on. <div>
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The wife would have far more success in encouraging her husband to quit and offering support. An addict is going to distrust just about everyone in a Christian setting. His current friends aren't going to help and many may even become counterproductive. This leaves you, the wife, as his only true hope. </div>
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<div>
Someone coming out of addiction needs someone to be accountable too. It's best that it's his wife. She's the one stuck in the mess with him either way. There needs to be honest communication between the addicted and the person they are accountable too. There will be no trust and honest communication if the addict says, "I failed today," only to be met with an attack. This doesn't mean the wife has to accept the behavior but she should understand this will be a process. </div>
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The addict should still attend support groups. If there is a breakdown at the support group, the addict can fall back to his wife for support and does not have to fall back to his addiction. </div>
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<div>
Marriage vows are becoming a joke in these current times. I even heard Mexico is thinking of passing temporary marriages into law. We have this in the United States already. They are in the form of Hollywood Marriages and just plain living together. Couples are not willing to go through the hard times anymore. Vows are treated as "in the good times and the bad" unless this includes porn addiction or the fact I just get tired of you. </div>
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A wife who can take the hard journey to porn recovery with her husband will be rewarded with a better marriage and husband. How many times have we seen trying times bring couples closer together? This moment in time, when you are dealing with porn addiction, can be the straw that breaks the camel's back or the glue that binds a couple together? </div>
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Will you have what it takes to be the wife your husband needs you to be?</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16899652685430310436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439833254106833664.post-55450064389918003852012-08-21T21:42:00.001-07:002012-08-21T21:42:21.350-07:00Facebook is a Mine Field - Day 16. This morning I opened Facebook to check for any messages. BAM! Someone had posted a picture with some kind of nude women on it. I'm not sure if they were drawn, animated, or photographed. I didn't stick around to find out. I blocked this person from posting any further things to my wall.<br />
<br />
The thing about Facebook is there is little control over what goes in your eyes. More often than not there are suggestive pictures on the right hand side in the form of ads. Are those pictures bad? No. However, there is nothing wrong with having beer in the frig unless your an alcoholic. Why take the risk? It only takes a wrong thought at the wrong time to be in the fight of your life. FYI, there is porn on Facebook also. Usually, you have to go look for it. Yet, sometimes it just shows up.<br />
<br />
I took my family to the beach two days ago. During the drive my wife told me she had a co-worker find me on Facebook. She said there was a picture of a girl on my page and I had liked it. She had mentioned it was awkward for her and her friend. I couldn't remember this at all.<br />
<br />
Eventually, I realized it was tied to an interview I was going to do. I promote all my writing through Facebook; except this blog. I was going to interview a fitness model for a website; Again, overall, probably not a big deal. However, to a wife whose husband is fighting porn addiction, it just brings up all kinds of questions again. I'm looking forward to the day when my wife won't have to worry about if I'm looking at porn.<br />
<br />
It's recommend to stop using Facebook if possible. It's just one less obstacle to have to deal with.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16899652685430310436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439833254106833664.post-1180183629248191042012-08-20T16:13:00.001-07:002012-08-20T16:13:10.083-07:00What to Do When You Fail - Day 15I looked my stats today and I say the search term "overcoming porn the day you fail." I can imagine the person who typed this into Google was feeling pretty low. I've been there many times before. It can be pretty devastating. Most of the time, it conjures thoughts like, "Why do I even try?"<br />
<br />
It's like everything else in life. The difficult things rarely get accomplished on the first try. Even when it came to walking, we had to make many attempts and we fell down many times. Very few children ever just go from crawling to running in one try. It's part of life. It takes time to reprogram your brain.<br />
<br />
The problem with most adults is they give up to easily. What if the first time we tried to walk was our last time? We stand up. We go to walk and we fall down. Then we decide; that's it, we aren't every going to try walking again. Sounds silly doesn't it? Of course, you are going to try again. It is the same with quitting porn. When you get up, start all over again.<br />
<br />
What if you are only free like me for two weeks? I feel better and have a better outlook on life. Isn't two weeks better than no weeks? If I fail, shouldn't I try for 3 weeks next time? Failure is certain in life but it doesn't have to be permanent.<br />
<br />
I have faith that, if we keep trying, one time we will make a decision that will stick. This next time can be this time for you. This time is the time for me.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16899652685430310436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439833254106833664.post-16638687441219620792012-08-19T14:04:00.001-07:002012-08-19T14:04:03.903-07:00People Do Not Understand Porn Addiction - Day 14I went to church with my wife this morning and the topic was Promiscuity, Pornography, and Adultery. I swear you could have heard a pin drop in church this morning. As the pastor was pointing out, these sins are running rampart in the churches these days. Our pastor has had the guts to teach on many polarizing views lately. These are the ones everyone should talk about but no one does.<br />
<br />
As soon as the service started, I felt my wife tense up. I know here first thought was about my addiction. Thanks to the progress I have been making and my clear desire to been done with porn, I was totally relaxed through the whole message. I think she could feel it in me. By the time the service was over she seemed to be in a good mood. The message probably also explained why I have been a lot more self-controlled and peaceful lately.<br />
<br />
The message made me want to move up the time table of starting a local support group for people addicted to porn. However, I don't know what would be too soon. I would hate for people to not take it or me seriously because I was only free for a few months. I would hope people coming would realize we are all just trying to take it one step at a time.<br />
<br />
I'll be honest with you. I don't want to share my addiction troubles with anyone who does not have the same addiction. I don't believe other people understand. I've told too many people in the past who were supposed to be there for support and only received distance instead. It was like, "Wow, you are awesome. Oh wait, you're addicted to porn? Get away from me." At first, I didn't want to believe it but the more it happened I couldn't deny it. Therefore, I gave up trying to get help in the past.<br />
<br />
So, it's important I form this group of people who know what each other is going thru and wants to help each other.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16899652685430310436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439833254106833664.post-91037851872156936582012-08-18T22:19:00.001-07:002012-08-18T22:19:27.102-07:00Takes a Long Time to Gain Trust Back - Day 13<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">It takes a long time to gain trust back. In my 14 year marriage,
my wife has found porn on my computer 3 times; 2 pictures and 1 video. Each
time she went ballistic. As I mentioned before, women tend to take this type of
thing personally.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Today, I mentioned
I wanted to volunteer for a project at work. She kept thinking I was hiding
something. When I asked her what she thought I was hiding, she used the word
porn in the example. I wasn't very happy about it. Maybe she thinks I've been
watching porn recently. I don't tell her about this blog because I already know
she would disagree. However, this blog is helping me make real progress. It's
very important to have someone to be honest with and confide in. I tried with
her because I trust her. It was very bad. It was obvious she was hurt and
disapproving. Having someone disapprove of you does not help with
recovery. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">I'm sure once 6
months go by and I tell her all is good she'll be happy. So, in a nutshell
it's been about 6 months since the last time she caught me and I can tell
it's still in the back of her mind. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">On a side note, my
attitude in life is doing very well. I feel much happier about things and the
small stuff doesn't get to me as much. I've also noticed I have dramatically
cut down on the amount I look at other women. I never wanted to cheat or
anything but I was always comparing everyone. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">I should set up a
small reward for myself when I reach 21 days. It's always a good idea to reward
yourself when you accomplish goals. Maybe, I'll treat myself to a movie with
popcorn and soda. That would be nice. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16899652685430310436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439833254106833664.post-7202228820709630252012-08-17T19:16:00.001-07:002012-08-17T19:16:06.631-07:00Be on Guard at All Times - Day 12<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">When overcoming porn addiction, it's important to be on guard at
all times. You never know when you'll be confronted with temptation. For
example, this just happened to me and it leads to today's post. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">I would like this
blog to develop into a resource for other people to use in their fight against
porn addiction. In addition, I hope it becomes a successful blog. Therefore, I
need to monitor where my traffic is coming from. I need to do whatever works
and do more of it. I need to participate in awesome sites like <a href="http://treatmenttalk.org/">http://treatmenttalk.org/</a>. They provide valuable
input, support and provide some links for me. The webmaster is very proactive
and even answers everyone's post. It can be hard to find this level of personal
touch on the web now-a-days. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Anyways, one of
the referring sites listed on my site traffic had a very innocent looking name
to it. I clicked on it to see if I could participate with the site. The first
thing I saw across the browser header was something like "free porn
videos" or some such. I immediately closed the page before I could see
what was on it. That was close. Needless to say, I’m not checking any
links unless I start the interaction myself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">I’m hoping that some of these sites are referring people to me
because they realize they need to stop watching porn and are seeking help.
Hopefully, I’ll say something that makes a difference.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">There could be
other times that are totally beyond a person's control. For example, a
co-worker may show you a dirty picture at work on their cell phone. Whatever
the situation or reason, it's important that when we come across these things
we immediately turn away and start thinking of some other positive though
process. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Video of This Day</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16899652685430310436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439833254106833664.post-87501614405571182052012-08-16T20:39:00.000-07:002012-09-18T06:21:04.141-07:00How to Tell if Your Husband is Watching Porn - Day 11<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Do you think your husband is watching porn but you’re not sure?
The first question you might want to ask yourself is do you really want to
know? For many women, it can be a devastating revelation. Men don't see it this
way but often men do.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Just like any
other addiction, it causes a flaw in thinking and the most careful person is
bound to make a mistake. So, you need to check your home computer. Check the
history on all browsers: Internet Explorer, Firefox, Chrome, or any other one
you see. Is the history always clean? Why? Most people don't clean their
history on a daily basis. Check the download folder on the C: Drive. There are
a few companies online that will scan a computer for bad graphics and
video. <a href="http://www.contentpurity.com/scaninfo.htm" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.contentpurity.com/scaninfo.htm</a> is
one of them. However, if you’re not going to buy the program, be careful.
The scan results may return stuff that isn't porn. No need to attack an
innocent person. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">**added on 9/18** If you husband has Google account, check the web history from Google. This may be turned on and it's possible he doesn't even know it's there. While in the Google account, click on the upside down arrow next to his icon. Click on "account." Look under services and "go to web history."</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Check out your
husband reaction while you’re near the computer. Does he hover around the
computer when you’re around? This could be a good sign that he's worried on
what you might find. When you come home and he's been by himself, does he
appear to get angry with you easily? That's what would happen when I was
watching it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Do you never look
at his phone? Chances are he's gotten careless with it and has incriminating
evidence on it. You should check it one day when he's not around. Is all the
history cleaned? Why? How cleans their browser history all the time on an
Iphone? Chances are he's trying to hide something. You could always buy
something like <a href="http://www.spy-mobile-phone.com/purchase-mobile-spy.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.spy-mobile-phone.com/purchase-mobile-spy.html</a>.
You'll no for sure then. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">If you do find
something and you think your husband is addicted, be careful how you approach
him about it. Take the wrong approach can end a marriage. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Song of This Day.</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16899652685430310436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439833254106833664.post-39887025166662992272012-08-15T11:42:00.001-07:002012-08-15T11:42:23.918-07:00Addiction of Escalation - Day 10Day 9 was a little tough and today on day 10 seems to be even tougher. As I figured, my days off have been the worst. Tomorrow is another day at work and I'll be busy most of the day. So, I expect tomorrow to be easier again.<br />
<br />
When I was watching porn, it used to take huge chunks of time out of my life. Normally, a porn session would last a few hours. The reason it would always take so long is because I was always trying to find something better than the last time. It was just like a drug addicted always wanting a better high.<br />
<br />
If the scene was not graphic enough, it was "lame." If the director didn't put the girls in the right positions, then it wasn't "quality work." It would take time to top all the thousands of movies I had seen before.<br />
<br />
After time, you start getting into different types of setting or actions. One of the things that would scare me is I heard many an expert say porn addiction would eventually lead to interest in children. Thank God, I never ran into this problem. Maybe it's because I'm really not a kid person in the first place. I like my 3 kids but I don't want to babysit another person's kids. It used to bother me to go to a party and see some grown man playing with a bunch of small kids. People would always say, "He's so great with kids." I would always think the guy was some kind of pervert and he better not go near my kids.<br />
<br />
My path went down a different trail. I wanted to see women used in more public places. I invented my own favorite saying; "If the tits aren't out it doesn't count." If it wasn't public sex, it was BDSM. It was even better if it was both. Of course, it was always the ones where the woman acted like they wanted to be there. I'm not into hurting anyone or anything. Which, on a side note, I never understood guys who want to rape women. How is it exciting to be with someone who doesn't want you or is screaming, yelling, and fighting the whole time? It's just weird.<br />
<br />
Let's get back to topic. The point is the Internet porn is widely available and there is more than any one person can watch. So, the fact I was spending so much time on porn was actually watching it not looking for it. I also knew the longer I went the better it would be when I found something good. I wouldn't look at the fact I was digging myself deeper every time I set down for a session. The combination of always looking for a better scene and the promise of a better experience always caused me to want more and more.<br />
<br />
So, if you think you have it under control, it will only be a matter of time before you are under control.<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16899652685430310436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439833254106833664.post-24113644776182868212012-08-13T16:52:00.000-07:002012-08-13T16:52:02.107-07:00Overcoming Porn Addiction - Day 8I'm on day 8 of overcoming porn addiction. It's amazing how great I feel. Some of the depression that has been haunting me over the last few years is slipping away. If I could feel like this every day, life would be worth living again.<br />
<br />
I'm worried about the school year starting. With my wife going back to work, I will have more opportunities to be by myself. This is dangerous territory. So, it's important that I make as many gains as I can until then. The next milestone I have set for myself is day 22. I set this goal because of the saying, "21 days to make a habit and 21 days to break a habit." I understand this does not classify as a habit but it's a start in the right direction.<br />
<br />
At 6 months, I plan on starting a Porn Addicts Anonymous group here in my area. There is currently no such organiztion in my area. I would be great to give and receive support from local people. I find it hard to believe there are no other people wanting to participate in overcoming porn addiction in the area.<br />
<br />
I've known for a long time that I wanted 3 things: To be a leader, help others, and do something that matters. This meeting group would allow me to accomplish all 3 things.<br />
<br />
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Video of This Day.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16899652685430310436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439833254106833664.post-80137295128579832822012-08-12T12:28:00.003-07:002012-08-12T12:33:59.393-07:00Fight Porn Addiction - Day 7<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
You cannot just quit porn addiction. You have to fight porn addiction. If a person tries to quit porn once and beats it, I would question if they were ever truly addicted in the first place.<br />
<br />
Take for example the time I quit smoking cigarettes. 4 of us took a new year's resolution to quit smoking. I was the only one who succeeded. For me it was easy. I wasn't addicted to them. I was more of a light smoker compared to everyone else.<br />
<br />
No matter what type of addiction a person has it can be extremely tough to escape from it. It's a constant fight. Even after years of being free, one must continuously be on guard against it least they fall back into the addiction.<br />
<br />
On day 5, I wrote about how one picture on the Internet can plunge someone back into the depth of pornography. Knowing this, I still had to fight it on the very same day. I was looking around different addiction blogs to study up on my topic of being free from porn addiction. I came across a blog called, "Confessions of a Porn Addict." I didn't realize until I looked at it that it was about a movie review. There was a picture on the page of a porn shot with the microphone guy included. There was nothing nude in the picture but the suggestion was there. I had to fight to not let my mind start to wonder. If I had not been on guard, this blog would have been over on day 5.<br />
<br />
So, if you are going to fight porn addiction like I am, realize it is going to be a fight.<br />
<br />
Another thing I would like to caution about is: just like a real fight, over confidence can be a week point and cause you to lose. Be careful. Don't take any chances. Realize the enemy is not going to play fair. Realize the odds are against you but you can beat the odds.<br />
<br />
How has your fight been? Are you just getting started? Is it easy or is it hard? What has been the biggest temptations? What causes you to fail or win?<br />
<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
Song of This Day</div>
</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16899652685430310436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439833254106833664.post-59497586640937900682012-08-10T16:24:00.001-07:002012-08-12T12:37:43.333-07:00Day 5: Internet Addiction - Free From Porn Addiction - Internet Addiction<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Internet Addiction and Porn Addiction are a dangerous combination.
If someone is addicted to porn and has Internet addiction, they are playing with fire.
It's way too easy to stray off the path. All it can take is one ad to trigger a
downward spiral. If the addict is not on guard, the fight can be over before
it truly begins. The moment a suggestive picture is seen the addict must look
away. If he fools himself to believing he can look for a little while and then
change the page, he is mistaken. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">This is what
happens to so many addicts. They don't understand the depth of their mental
programming. Once the mind starts to follow a deeply ingrained path, it's hard
to alter course. The further down the path the harder it becomes to stop until
it's too late. It reminds me of a sign on a country road; "Chose your ruts
carefully. You'll be in them for the next 10 miles."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Take a look at
people on their smart phones. Internet addiction has been funneling into<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;">Facebook</span><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>ad</span>diction. I see a large majority of
people not able to get of<span style="background-color: white;"><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;">Facebook</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>for more than a few hours. Someone who
is not careful can actually run into full out porn on<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;">Facebook</span>.</span> At the very least they see the suggestive pictures on the side ads as previously mentioned. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">So, if you are an
addict and you have to be on the Internet, be sure you realize that you are
skating on thin ice. One wrong step and you might be in over your head. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Song of This Day</span></div>
</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16899652685430310436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439833254106833664.post-25888117100179083052012-08-09T16:29:00.001-07:002012-08-12T12:34:54.542-07:00Day 4: Free From Porn Addiction - Martial Relationships<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Day 4 and all is well.
I've heard a few preachers speak about porn addiction. As you can imagine, they
didn’t agree with it much. Of course, they would mention the negative effects
on Martial Relations. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Some would mention how
their spouse could never live up to the mental images developed in the addicts
mind. Porn is full of women who have great bodies and faces. They mention how
this made the addict feel their spouses were less attractive. Well, I never lost the fact that my wife is beautiful. I do notice her imperfections but I find it
hard to believe this isn't the case with most people, even if, they aren't
addicted. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I personally noticed
another negative effect on martial relations. I don't remember reading it
anywhere but through personal experience I can't deny it. When I've been at
home and spent time watching porn, it would never fail that I would argue with
my wife when she arrived home. I don't understand all the psychology about it. I
just know it would happen. Even when I figured this out, I would still fail to
stay calm. Once I forgot about being careful it would slip. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">When I had lost my job a
few years ago, I had stopped watching porn for a while. My family said there was a big change
in my attitude. They stated I was more relaxed in life. We all attributed it to me no
longer working a job I hated. Now, I'm not so sure. I guess we'll find out
soon. I have another job just like the old one. So, that hasn't changed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;">Song for This Day</span></div>
</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16899652685430310436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439833254106833664.post-879760790735131752012-08-08T16:43:00.001-07:002012-08-08T16:43:39.727-07:00Day 3: Free From Porn Addiction - Darkness Can Not Hide in the LightDay 3 is most of the way finished. I'm just logging in to post. I have to be careful, because along with porn addiction, I'm sure I have a case of Internet addiction also. I've always been a little against the grain in this matter. If I watched TV as much as I was online, people would just say I was average. However, now-a-days it seems like people just like to point out whatever they are not doing and call it an addiction.<br />
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Anyways, this has been my first day off of work since I started this. These are the most dangerous days. Usually, on Wednesday, I have the day off and tend to be at home alone. Since, it's summertime the family is at home. This helps to keep me honest. There was still a small temptation to run off and hide during the day to get my fix but it was manageable.<br />
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The more time you spend with people, who don’t support porn
addiction, the better of you will be. Porn, for the most part, is a secretive activity. The less chance you have to hide it, the less chance you have to act on it. This is a good reason to not have locks on your doors at home. If you know someone might come busting in at any moment, it causes you to hesitate. </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16899652685430310436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439833254106833664.post-86187294664424537792012-08-07T04:36:00.002-07:002012-08-07T22:08:09.694-07:00Day 2 - The Chains That Bind<i><span class="huge" style="border: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15pt; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">"Any act often repeated soon forms a habit; and habit allowed, steady gains in strength, At first it may be but as a spider's web, easily broken through, but if not resisted it soon binds us with chains of steel." - </span><span class="bodybold" style="border: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; font-weight: bold; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Tryon Edwards</span></i><br />
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<span style="border: 0px; font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">When I was 14, I found a stack of adult magazines in my father's bedroom closet. </span><span style="font-size: 16px;">I found the magazines quite fascinating.</span><span style="font-size: 16px;"> </span><span style="font-size: 16px;">This was my introduction to porn and the long road towards porn addiction. If I would have known those magazine would have enslaved me, I wouldn't have touched them. Then again, what does a 14 year old know if he hasn't been told? Then in the mid 80's my family bought one of those huge satellite dishes to get free cable. Unfortunately, there was free porn available also. I used to get home an hour and a half before my parents did. So, I was able to watch these shows without challenge. </span><br />
<span style="border: 0px; font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><br /></span>
<span style="border: 0px; font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Later, when I joined the military, I found pornography widely accepted. There were times at work where we would watch them while working. I eventually found my way to a video store and took out a membership card. I ended up recording quite a collection for myself. By the time I was fully online in 1999, I was so far in over my head I didn't know what to do. </span><br />
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<span style="border: 0px; font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">After 28 years of continued input into my brain, the chains of steel have become quite strong indeed. Being free from porn addiction can be very hard indeed. At the moment, I'm looking forward to another successful day. I should be extremely busy today. This always seems to help. </span><br />
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Song of this Day</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16899652685430310436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5439833254106833664.post-6909039682832112732012-08-06T16:33:00.001-07:002012-08-06T16:33:17.500-07:00Making a Journal - Day 1Like most people who have been addicted to porn or anything else for that matter, I'm starting over again. I can't count the amount of times I have tried to stop. Some times it last a day. Some times it last a few months. On the long stretches it seems like the pressures of life cause me to fall. More on why this is on future post. <div>
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One common strategy to beating pornography addiction is to keep a journal. I have never done this in the past, but like a dieter who writes down everything they eat, I can see how this will help. Why do I think journals help? It helps to keep your eye on the prize. Also, it helps you to be honest with yourself. In addition, since my goal is to be a successful Internet writer, here I am starting a blog about this time around. </div>
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I've grown a lot in the last few months towards other things I've struggled with. I believe this time I will be successful. </div>
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Another strategy is to have people support you along the way. I'm hoping through this journey and this blog I will find others who will join me online the way. </div>
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Video of this Day</div>
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</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16899652685430310436noreply@blogger.com0