I assume most people without an addiction to Porn sit down
with a partner and watch a movie. Maybe somewhere along the way they stop
watching the movie and focus on each other. After the movie is over, they may
not watch another one for weeks or months later. There may be no desire to go
back and watch more because it was just something to do at the moment; a
special occasion kind of thing.
I can only speak for myself but it’s different from this addict’s
point of view. On times before, when I was attempting to quit porn, having sex
with my wife would cause a greater desire to watch porn the next day. Thinking
about the act of sex would want me to watch more sex.
So, there I would sit at my computer watching porn. Again,
someone else may sit down and watch a movie or scene and then would be done
with it. For me it would be different. First, I would go to Google and do a
video search with some keywords like “Interracial Anal” “Public Anal Sex” or “Monster
Cock Teen Anal.” This brings back 100s of results for each one.
Tangent - As I mentioned before, I’m not in to kids. Teen searches
bring back results of woman that are 18 to 24 years old. I assume this is due
to Federal law and any large porn site coming up on Google is going to be
legit. This filters out looking at old has-been porn stars which lack much to
be desired. When you do these searches
you’ll notice a message at the bottom saying some sites have been removed in
accordance with U.S. law. A woman who looks innocent has more impact than
someone who looks like they are bored with the whole thing. Actresses who act
like it’s their first time do very well.
Why all the anal? I’m not totally sure. I just knew it
turned me on more. I think it has more to do with the woman being totally unreserved
in their actions. Maybe it’s part of my Paraphilia.
There’s a process here when it comes to extremes. Let me explain by example. All women have a
choice on whether they will give blow jobs. I assume most will and some will
not. I figure only about half who do give blow jobs will swallow. Out of that
percentage, fewer still will like it. Right or wrong, I feel a woman who gives
blow jobs is more exciting than one who doesn’t. A woman who swallows is more
exciting than one who won’t. A woman who
loves to swallow is more exciting than a woman who just does it because it
makes the guy happy. So, the same goes with sex. Regular sex is good. Anal sex
is better and a woman who loves anal sex is even better.
By the way, I did read in a psychology study once that woman
who won’t swallow send a signal of rejection to their man. It may not be
intentional but you are still rejecting a part of him. You can say it’s not
true all you want but I believe the study was 100% correct.
By the way guys, if you are not bringing your woman to
orgasm with your mouth, you are probably missing the boat. According to www.sogc.org/,
two-thirds of women don’t reach orgasm during normal intercourse. If you are
not willing to eat at the Y, then hopefully she masturbates while you do your
thing; which by the way is hot as hell. But seriously, do you want her to have
to continue to do the work for both of you at the same time? I wish I could go
back and apologize to the first few girlfriends I had. What a shame.
Back on topic – After having all these search results, I
would go through and “control +click” on all the ones that looked promising.
This opens them in new tabs on my browser. This way I don’t lose track of where
I am on the search results. I would normally open about 20 at a time.
At this point, I would start scanning through the scenes
looking for things I like the most. After 1000s of hours, going through porn
sites, you can scan through a scene very fast to determine if it has what you
like or not. The ones I didn’t like or didn’t “qualify” as good enough were
closed in disgust. After an hour or two of this, I’ve been through dozens of
scenes and narrowed it down to a few good ones.
Once I’m down to the final few, I would pick the one I like
the best to get me off.
I have a feeling this is a good indication of what other
addicts go through. So, if there is anyone out there who has caught their
spouse with one picture or file on their computer, you should probably realize
the problem can be much more serious than you think.
