Day 9 was a little tough and today on day 10 seems to be even tougher. As I figured, my days off have been the worst. Tomorrow is another day at work and I'll be busy most of the day. So, I expect tomorrow to be easier again.
When I was watching porn, it used to take huge chunks of time out of my life. Normally, a porn session would last a few hours. The reason it would always take so long is because I was always trying to find something better than the last time. It was just like a drug addicted always wanting a better high.
If the scene was not graphic enough, it was "lame." If the director didn't put the girls in the right positions, then it wasn't "quality work." It would take time to top all the thousands of movies I had seen before.
After time, you start getting into different types of setting or actions. One of the things that would scare me is I heard many an expert say porn addiction would eventually lead to interest in children. Thank God, I never ran into this problem. Maybe it's because I'm really not a kid person in the first place. I like my 3 kids but I don't want to babysit another person's kids. It used to bother me to go to a party and see some grown man playing with a bunch of small kids. People would always say, "He's so great with kids." I would always think the guy was some kind of pervert and he better not go near my kids.
My path went down a different trail. I wanted to see women used in more public places. I invented my own favorite saying; "If the tits aren't out it doesn't count." If it wasn't public sex, it was BDSM. It was even better if it was both. Of course, it was always the ones where the woman acted like they wanted to be there. I'm not into hurting anyone or anything. Which, on a side note, I never understood guys who want to rape women. How is it exciting to be with someone who doesn't want you or is screaming, yelling, and fighting the whole time? It's just weird.
Let's get back to topic. The point is the Internet porn is widely available and there is more than any one person can watch. So, the fact I was spending so much time on porn was actually watching it not looking for it. I also knew the longer I went the better it would be when I found something good. I wouldn't look at the fact I was digging myself deeper every time I set down for a session. The combination of always looking for a better scene and the promise of a better experience always caused me to want more and more.
So, if you think you have it under control, it will only be a matter of time before you are under control.
